Haven’t really weighed myself since last Thursday. I drank a bit this weekend and that always makes me retain water and so my weight shoots up for about two days afterward. I know it’s just water but seeing that on the scale makes me so depressed and scared and I can feel myself slipping back into that abyss of obsession and blackness.

My last weight was 144.6 lbs

Lifted weights yesterday, rowed essentially a 20k today (10k on the erg, 10k on the water). That’s 12 miles? Almost a half-marathon. So sore.

I’m rowing a 34k on the Seine this weekend! Which is almost a full marathon.